HORRIFIC ASSAULT: PASTOR WADEN ASSAULTS MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEE

In a shocking turn of events, local pastor Waden was observed attacking a McDonald's employee during the lunch rush yesterday afternoon. Eyewitnesses report that the altercation began when Waden lost his temper about the food. The McDonald's employee, who remains unnamed, apologized for the inconvenience, but Waden quickly escalated the situation.